Mission accomplished?

After finishing my shift at work yesterday I couldn't leave the office right away because my coworker needed some help with some things. I knew N would be meeting me at 5 in the center so I wasn't in much hurry yet but when the time was way past four thirty I started to worry.

N and I had decided to go see a movie that evening. It had been a long time since we last saw one and we've been wanting to see Mission Impossible 4 for a long time as well. So we had fixed a date at five o clock.

Soon after I finished what I had to do in the office, I put on my coat, my winter hat and gloves and  quickly left the building. On my way up to the main road, N called me to check on me. He wanted to tell me he had gotten sooner off work and he was wondering whether I was around the movie theater already. 

After I hung up, this weird and feel-good realization confronted me; A husband calls his wife to check on her. A wife replies confidently she'd meet him soon. This was a friendly conversation between them two. I then wondered, 'what If I had been single?' What would my thursday plan be like? Would I have had a friend there to share a movie with that night? Instead I had a plan. A natural plan. Talking and doing things with N feel as natural as drinking water or breathing. Talking to him feels no longer awkward like it might have been on our first day. This was a conversation between two people who share a life together.

So, has a relationship, once married, accomplished a mission? A mission of letting go of fears and doubts and perhaps too, prejudices?. The mission of talking and listening to each other as if it was ourselves to whom we were talking and listening? Have N and I entered the comfort zone of a marriage? 

We still talk and laugh like kids every night before going to bed and I can't help but ask myself, 'Is it something that fades away with time?' or is it a habit learned, that once is perfected, you never forget?

I once read a book that says that one should encounter aloneness. One need to be alone and meditate and learn about oneself. Only then you are capable of being with others. If you can be with yourself alone and be happy, you can also be happy with one another. But do not confuse aloneness with loneliness. Loneliness is the state of feeling empty and alone despite being surrounded by others. This usually brings with it a sad feeling and not a content one.

So I reached the stop and, while I was waiting for the bus, pondered ' why does it feel so natural?' Why doesn't it feel awkward at all? There is no nervousness in my voice. There is not insecurity in his. Did we go through our meditation, loneliness AND aloneness period for so long before we met?

Whatever the answer, I think we have pretty much accomplished what any person alone or in a relationship would; Acknowledge what you have and be thankful for it.